Hi, whoever is reading this! ily!
Here goes… I’ve been getting lots of ideas recently for things I want to post about but I don’t do it. I keep notes in my phone and tell myself that at the perfect moment, in the perfect space, with the perfect cup of coffee and perfect zen vibe, I’ll write the blog or the Instagram. But the truth is, those moments NEVER happen. Life is never perfect. Nothing ever aligns EXACTLY as I think it should, because it’s never up to me. It’s up to a force much bigger than me. And my only job is to listen and surrender. And if that voice inside tells me it’s time to write or share, then I want to do it, no matter what state I am in.
So here’s my current state… been laying in bed since 7:30pm. Ate Chipotle in bed while watching Game of Thrones. And have my face mask on for my acne that’s been popping up like crazy recently.
And this thought that’s been floating through my mind a lot lately, hit me like a ton of bricks… I was sitting here telling myself what a piece of shit I was. I didn’t workout today. I didn’t get enough done. I didn’t socialize. I ate too much. My skin sucks. I’m gross and lazy and all the horrible things. And then it hit me. None of this really has to be wrong. I’m just labeling it as wrong.
What this really is, is just my experience of today. What if I said it this way: Today I had a very relaxing day. I got all my laundry done. I helped get stuff done for my mom. I ran an errand. I got some food to nourish and feed my body. I ate dinner while watching my favorite show; and put on a face mask to help heal my skin. LOOK👏AT 👏THE 👏DIFFERENCE👏. Both the EXACT same thing, just labeled differently. What I am getting at is, we are truly NEVER wrong or bad or any of the cruel lies our minds can sometimes tell us. We are simply experiencing life in one way or another.
We may believe we are wrong because of what society tells us or what other people have told us our entire lives. But YOU are the only one who knows what is best for you today. And for me that was relaxing.
We condemn ourselves so harshly for things that may be exactly what we needed that day. And instead of allowing that relaxing day to nourish us, we call ourselves lazy and stay in a funk because we feel horrible about who we are as a person.
And I think we’ve got it all wrong. I think that my higher self, the universe, the God I believe in, LOVE THE SHIT OUT OF ME TODAY, just as much as they love me when I have perfect skin or am teaching multiple yoga classes. Truly, my soul sees me as the same in both scenarios: a beautiful girl being exactly who she is.
Ultimately, what I’m trying to say is that whatever you’re going through, wherever you’re at, whatever you think you’ve done or not done…. it is all PERFECT. You are having the exact experience your soul wants you to have right now. If it feels like it sucks, and you’re having a horrible day or month or even year…. try to trust the process, be where you are right now, and know that this too shall pass. Trust that it is all part of your journey.
That may sound insanely frustrating. I know it did for me when things were tough. But I know now it’s all been part of my path. And instead of judging it or labeling it as “bad” or “wrong” or “embarrassing” or whatever words I would come up with, I am learning to see those moments simply as experiences. And those experiences were exactly what I needed at that time, to get me to this time. And my experience tonight is exactly what I need right now. And it’s all okay. I’m just going to love myself as Paige, exactly as she is right now (which is way too full from chipotle and way too into Game of Thrones). And that’s it! Simple!!! No more self-hate. I mean I am so cute right now! I’m all comfy in bed with matching pajamas and a weird face mask on and it’s amazing!
Be kind to yourself. Trust the process. Know that every single moment of every single day, every decision you make, every conversation you have, every food you eat, every show you watch. It is all part of your perfect journey. You are never wrong.
I think that’s all I’ve got.
So much love,
Paige
Paige Barton 